Meek with Myself

clay jars

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” (2 Corinthians 4:7)

By Steve Becker

I can be my own worst critic, especially when my own fallen nature shows itself. His light breaks through my shortcomings. I don’t have to be perfect. God is bigger and brighter than my own inadequacies.

I’ve been leading our housing cooperative through a challenging time. The stakes are high and emotions are strong. At moments discord comes to a crescendo. God has made it clear I must remain calm and pragmatic. “Blessed are the meek, they shall inherit the earth.” 

When people are being confrontative rather than collaborative, I am asked to be “gentle and lowly of heart” toward them. Being gentle with myself is another story. I can annoy myself. I’m irritated with my own imperfections. The feelings, judgments, and irritations I have about others makes me defensive. I want to serve my Lord and not let those feelings get in the way and cause more problems. 

It’s reasonable to be displeased with my own thoughts and emotions. However, I need to be careful that I don’t become bitter or angry about my imperfections. All anger or irritation against myself is fostered by my own pride and springs from my self-love. When this happens, I must quiet my heart, humbly lifting up my imperfections and frailty, without obsessing that I experience them in the first place. It’s not the first time and won’t be the last. I need to start again and keep moving forward with him. 

I should repent if I offend him, but also open myself to the grace he provides, with a deep trust in his mercy, and have a courageous heart. It’s all in his hands anyway. I’m half the man I used to be, even if there’s another half that’s still being worked on.


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