“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” (Philippians 4:5)
By David Staloch
In my oversight of a strategic initiative, key milestones were fast approaching, and the team’s morale was thin. Months of work had unraveled because key details shared by one coworker didn’t line up with reality. This team member shared that progress was steady and tasks were complete. But the truth surfaced in missed deadlines and team frustration. During team meetings, tension hung in the air and the tolerance for dishonesty was growing thin.
As leader of the team, I felt the tension and had every reason to speak up sharply in the next team meeting. After all, honesty mattered, and the project had suffered. Reflecting on how to best approach this situation, the Spirit reminded me that gentleness is not weakness—it is the evidence of godly strength, and it can move people forward without leaving anyone behind.
Instead of calling out the team member publicly, I asked her to meet one-on-one. The conversation was not easy, but it was calm. I named specific examples of misinformation that had been shared and how it affected the project and the team. My words were firm and clear, but my tone was gentle. I resisted the urge to tear her down with harsh comments, choosing instead to focus on expectations and the behaviors needed to move forward. I spoke not as a judge, but as a teammate who believed growth was possible.
When the project regained momentum, the team noticed. They were impressed—not by improved outcomes, but by the way the Spirit had led me to show compassion. Compassion had not slowed progress; it had strengthened it. Take note that the coworker who offends you is still being pursued by God—he is working on them. By choosing gentleness, I helped my coworker see evidence of the goodness of God reflected in restraint and grace.
Pray
May the spirit of gentleness guide my approach to conflict and reflect your goodness to those in my workplace.
Reflect
When faced with missed expectations, am I consistently seeking God to guide my words, my tone, and my actions?
Discuss
When a coworker has demonstrated a behavior that is not consistent with expectations and is negatively impacting both a project and the associated team members, how do you address the missed expectation?
David Staloch is a technology leader in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and an ardent utilizer of WorkLight content to equip and encourage Christians in the Salt and Light group at his company.